Camden Dezse
Mrs. Belden
Honors English I
8 October 2014
The Giants
I ran through the twisting, somber hallways of the palace trying to find my way as the world was ending. Every turn I made seemed to lead in the wrong direction. I had to find the queen and notify her they were here again. The earth shifted and the ceiling above my head fractured and crumbled. I sprinted as quick as I could until I reached the throne room where I was intercepted by two colossal guards. Their voices bellowed, “ Why have you come to see the queen?”
Out of breath I managed to reply, “ They’re here again and worse than last time. They have killed an entire battalion of soldiers down past the creek!”
As if they knew exactly what I meant, they moved out of the way and escorted me to her majesty. She was breathing heavily and exhibited a sense of unease. She uttered to me in a raspy voice, “ Why have you come to see me my son?”
I knelt with great respect and said in a respectful voice, “ The giants are back and are worse than the last time. They have destroyed a battalion of soldiers, have sent earthquakes to cause destruction to our palace and they have covered our sky in a sheet of darkness. I fear if we do not stop them now, we may be not be able to stop them again.”
Last time the giants were here, exactly one year ago, they had been smaller and caused less of a problem. We had tried to fight them individually. We got pummeled, but this time it would not happen again.
She paused for a moment and then said, “ And what are we to do, they are larger than all of us. We are like specks of sand on a beach. How do you think we can stop them?”
I replied in a timid tone, “ Why don’t we join together and so that we are their size and fight back!”
In a satisfied manner she nodded in approval. I was off to the barracks to muster the combatants. I ran through the ravaged hallways of the palace, the anarchy outside vexed my mind. As I raced to the barracks, I overheard a conversation of two guards, “ The giants caused a flood of water in the forest with large cauldrons.”
Things were getting worse by the minute.
When I made it to the barracks, I assembled the troops and prepared them for battle. I shouted, “ The queen has granted me the honor to take you into battle against the giants! Do not be surprised by the size of the giants, for if we join together, size will not matter. Will you follow me into battle?”
They roared inexorably, “Yes!”
Together, we marched grimly through the corridors of the palace. We were perfectly symmetrical in every movement, our march was simultaneous. People paid their respects as we advanced to our deaths. Some also congratulated us on our upcoming victory in a sarcastic way.
As we approached the exit, the giants’ voices were easily audible and were like thunder. The giants waltzed around without knowing they were destroying an entire civilization. We lined up in number and prepared to charge. The air was calm and we were still latent. When we were ready, I yelled, “Charge!”
We ran as fast as our legs could carry us. The ground was rocky and uneven. Our heads were down as we clenched our teeth and prepared for the worst. I ran at the front toward the giants, the army followed closely behind. The giants were large but we were larger. Our voices resonated in the surrounding air. The aroma of death lingered in the air. We jumped over the obstacles that the giants had laid forth. Every step the giants felt like a shock wave going through our bodies, the ground was like a trampoline.
When we were within touching distance of a giant we started to disperse. A group of us surrounded one leg, and another surrounded the other. The giants were unaware as we began our attack. We climbed the curly, dense leg hairs of the giants trying to find a weak spot. One wretched giant jerked in despair. A loud shriek erupted from its mouth. The other giants were now alerted. They ran towards the sounds of their companion. It’s partner picked up their fallen comrade and wiped us from his limbs. In a language that we could not understand, it said in, “ Ew! Aaron don’t touch those! Ants are dirty, who knows where they have been and what they have done?”
We tasted sweet victory, with a few casualties of course. The giants gathered their sheets, their buckets of water, their food supply, and they stomped off. We marched back to the palace, rejoicing in our auspicious victory. We had proven to ourselves and to the queen that size does not matter and that our determined willingness to work together had made us invincible!
Hey Camden D,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the plot of your story, all the literary terms in it and the suspense in the part where they are going to battle. One question i have was did the giants think the people were ants? Another question i had is how did they defeat them? One suggestion i have is to make the resolution more clear.
Nat K.
Your story was very interesting! I liked how in the begging we found out the main character was the queens son, it actually surprised me! The way your story was set up was very organized and very easy to follow. Your word choice was EXCELLENT! I can tell you put a lot of thought into it. I do have 2 questions. What is the characters name? Maybe you could add what his name is and what he is like, I can tell he is brave by him leading the army. Also, were the giants scared or mad? I wasn't sure how the giants felt by the attack.
ReplyDeleteDear Camden,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! My favorite part was how the reader was led to believed the ants were the people and the child was some kind of monster. I also liked how you used similes in your writing. another part that I liked was how the ant were personified. I have two questions what were the barriers and how did the ants win? A suggestion is to add a little more imagery during parts such as the attack and charge. Fantastic job!
Dear Camden,
ReplyDeleteNice Story! The beginning really hooked me! I liked all of the similes you used and how you made the giants seem oblivious to the village so it wasn't like they were attacking. I did have some questions though. How did the soldiers win? Also, is the guy that rallied the troops the queen's son and the commander? One suggestion is to explain why the giants were there in the first place. Great Story!
-WhiteShadow
Dear Camden,
ReplyDeletewhat a great story you have composed! I really enjoyed reading it. I thought that your use of situational irony was great. I didn't expect the main character to be an ant, but it all makes sense with the queen. Personally, I could not find anything for you to fix, I can tell you spent time in writing your story. In the story, when you say that the last attack was a year ago, is that like an ant year or a human year? If an ant year, I would elaborate on how long that is. Also, when attacked, was the 'giant' annoyed or scared? Over all, you did a great job.
"an ant year" - That made me crack up!!! :)
DeleteHey Camden! I thought your story was really good! Yet another where the characters were questionable! I really liked how you did it though, and did a good job on not revealing the protagonists in anyway! I liked how you described each event and how other characters felt! Only thing I'd say to be different is give the protagonists a bit more foreshadowing, like "They bared armour as black as night" but comparing to a kingdom was still great! Good Job!
ReplyDelete